One thing I've learned through my previous experiences is that if you decide to engage in infidelities, then you need to set some communication rules with your partner(s). Being that these activities aren't really legal, openly communicating about them can cause trouble for both parties involved, especially when the person you're in a legal relationship with is constantly checking up on you. Which is the reason why I set certain rules for communcation. I don't want to go into details because "a magician never reveals his secrets" (but really, I don't want to make anyone a better "player" of the "game") so I'll just talk about general concepts.
The most important guideline and I think the first rule that needs to be established is there needs to be a way of determining if (1) you've reached the right person and (2) if it's a good time to talk about what you need to talk about (3) without revealing too much if it turns out that you're not talking to the right person. All three conditions need to be met before both parties can start talking about what they want to talk about.
The second guideline is both parties need to establish alternatives for "unsafe words" just in case someone happens to gain access to the conversation. This is to avoid having to blatantly state anything, and one can't ever be certain that the lines of communication (text messages, emails, chat conversations) will always be secure. It's easier to persuade someone to dismiss suspicious behavior than it is to convince them not to mind any hard evidence.
The third guideline is establishing a quick and efficient "out", something that will inform both parties that the communication has/will end or has already ended. This will prevent one side from sending any unwanted communication signals because they had no clue that it's not a good time to continue the conversation.
Now that I'm reading this, I think it's still too specific, I'm sure it's going to give others some good ideas. Oh well, I don't want to simply delete this. I'd like to hear other viewpoints about this topic, so I'll have to trust that anyone wishing to use these as a guide knows that they're responsible for their own actions.
Written by polygamist at 07:42 PM. Filed under Lessons.
Today has just been insanity.
I don't know how else to explain it
and the day isn't even over yet.
{ music } Yiruma - Kiss the Rain
{ mood } jumbled
Written by xo__ox at 07:14 PM.
Heavy traffic. In the Philippines setting, its history. People, especially commuters, do stupid things just to get rid of the boredom caused by it. Caught in the middle of Alabang - Bicutan service road area, I started to cut and fold some of the fliers that was given by a flier distributor(?) somewhere in Northgate, Alabang. Origami if you want to call it that way. Out of nowhere, the future started to appear before me. I mean, I was thinking of having a place which I could call "our" own home. Our - including a wife, and perhaps, multiple kids. Then I realized, I never had a long-term relationship. For oh so many years that I've been dreaming of one strong relationship that could last until "til-death-do-us-apart". I could still recall my last, legal relationship... the girl whom I thought...
It was a happy one, the relationship until she messed with her close friend. It broke the bond, the trust that has been binding our relationship for months. It was heartbreaking. The absence of trust led to nowhere, and all the promises were shattered. Blurry. What if I trusted her even though she cheated on our relationship? She suggested a breakup would solve all the problem. It felt like the weight of the whole universe is on my shoulder. That heavy feeling I couldn't simply forget. Tried to call her if we could get back together but it was too late. Tried to beg her. It was useless.
For a year I was living a past life. I became a woman-hater. I became bitter. Not until.
I had this classmate. This chinita helped me in a lot of things: in our subject and also to help me recover from the severely-wounded heart. We had sorta attachment, and I became her "kabit". She was in a 2-year, healthy relationship and still going. I never meant nor had an intention to break their relationship but it happened. We did things like a normal couple do. We spent some happy moments together, hiding. For several times we thought of ending the "illegal" relationship since it gaves us a hard time. We're still friends though.
Today, I am single. Tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. I will be single. But will not be available. Because I am in-love with this girl who has the similar broken feeling I had few years ago. I thought I could help her, motivate her just like what my classmate did but... I don't know. I'm just hoping that someday she'll be able to recover and entertain me. Until that day. For now, I will be staying here, loving you.
One thing for sure: If I will be engaging in a relationship again, it'll be my last and forever. See you soon whoever you are. You!
Written by timothyhastings at 03:15 PM.
The idiom "what you don't know won't hurt you" applies to acts done without one's knowledge that may be directly harmful to that specific person or not. And from personal experience and observation, I can attest to this idiom's truthfulness. When I was completely unaware that people I was working with were talking behind my back, I felt nothing. But when I found out what they did, I felt hurt. I would have never felt anything had I remained oblivious to the situation. In several aspects, this idiom is very similar to the popular saying "ignorance is bliss", the main difference is that saying "what you don't know won't hurt you" is specifically talking about any potentially hurtful act done against you.
This fact of life is one of the reasons why people are able to do hurtful things to those whom they love or care about. Now, the degrees or level of pain that different acts can cause varies depending on the act and people involved, but the basic idea remains the same. Everyone (and I dare anyone who can claim that he/she has not done anything consciously to hurt their partners/friends/families to speak up) does hurtful things to our loved ones at one point in our lives or another because we know that they will not get hurt if they never find out about what we did. It can be as minor as a white lie about not going to a party because "you're not feeling well" when in fact you don't like the person who invited you, or can be as bad as sleeping around behind your partner's back. It can involve lying to your parents, telling them that you'll spend the night over at a friends house to finish a project but in reality you're just out partying. It can be lying to your son or daughter about not being able to purchase a copy of their favorite magazine because the magazine stand "ran out of stock", but in reality you just didn't want to bother going out of your way just for a silly magazine.
So when you find yourself talking to a person who's supposed to be caring for you and loving you, and they claim that they "never meant to hurt you", they could be telling the truth. I'm sure they never meant for you to find out what they did, because "what you don't know can't hurt you".
Written by polygamist at 07:19 AM. Filed under Thoughts.
In order of due dates:
Print 2 Mid-Critique for Personal Assignment
Scupture 1 Final Critique Multiples Assignment
Design 2 Final Critique 100 images Assignment
Game Design and Theory - Group Game Presentation and 10-page essay
How and Why of Computing - Wikipedia Assignment
Print Media 2 Final Critique
How and Why of Computing Final Exam
Written by deeflores at 03:55 AM. Filed under Personal.
Why can't I make love to you? Is is because:
- we're too familiar with each other? Has it become too ordinary now that we spend almost every minute of our lives together?
- I don't find you physically attractive any longer?
- I get more pleasure when it's taboo?
- I'm guilty about what I've been doing behind your back?
- there's never a good opportunity for making love?
Written by polygamist at 06:40 PM. Filed under Present.
If I had a cold heart, I could say this to your face:
"You can't lose what you never had in the first place."
That's the cold hard truth. You never had me. I never gave myself to you. I made it clear right from the start that my heart belonged to someone else. What we had was special, but it wasn't love. It meant something, but it didn't mean love. I will always be there for you, but not in the way that you want me to be.
Written by polygamist at 06:33 PM. Filed under Present.
It's amazing how some songs can accurately capture how one feels. I can still remember how much I could relate to this song a few years ago, so much that I can still feel how I felt then:
We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be, promises to keep
Someone else who loves me and trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago, all my love I'll be sending
And you will never know cause there can be no happy ending
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
Written by polygamist at 01:44 PM. Filed under Past, The Affair.